We went to his parents house and I looked up multiple sclerosis online just to find pictures of people with canes, walkers and wheelchairs. My life was over. I was going to be in a wheelchair, that was to be my destiny. My future plans of getting married and having children crashed right in front of me without so much as a warning. I don't remember the rest of that day, but I do remember going to the neurologist another day so he could tell me of my options and what multiple sclerosis really means. I remember my first question was if I could have children. He said that having multiple sclerosis wasn't going to interfere with getting pregnant and having children. This wasn't so bad, I would have a normal life, or so I thought at that moment. At that moment in time I didn't have any major symptoms, but I did have fatigue. Although this diagnosis was the most horrible thing that had happened in my life, it was almost like a sense of relief. Once he told me that a major symptom of multiple sclerosis was fatigue, I no longer felt like a lazy person. I remember having days when all I wanted to do was to be in bed and punishing myself for doing so. Then other things that I had felt or had gone on in my life started to make sense, the doctor even told me that I probably have had MS since I was a teenager.
Although I know so much more about this disease now, it's still hard to predict what will happen to me in the future. This disease not only takes away your power but in my case has helped me realize that I never had any power to begin with and that if I want to rely on something it can't be myself, it can only be God.